Hello Shiz!

It’s the school in Wicked. If you haven’t heard the music from the musical, go look it up now. It’s a good one.

Here are some of my rules:

1. No chocolate until the to-do list of the previous day is completely finished.

2. No tumblr until today’s to-do list is completed.

I know I just introduced two things you don’t know about. So it’s explanation time!!! The simple one to explain is the to-do list. I keep one. Well, actually two: one for each day and one for the week. I rarely finish the daily to do list in the allotted day (I’ll decide to leave reading for the hour before class, I don’t do my laundry that day, something seems less important than when I created the list) but will often finish it the following day. The weekly list... It kinda just floats to the back of my mind and only the truly important tasks are actually completed.

Thing number two: rules. I like to make them. Some of them make sense; some are a tad arbitrary. But I have them because they keep my world slightly more organized. However, if my rules go against my desires, I will often break them and then allow them to disintegrate into nothingness. A few months ago I tried to make a different rule about chocolate consumption (which there is a LOT of in my life because I am a chocoholic) that lasted for all of a week and then I allowed to die. Mainly because it was a purely personal rule and I had no one to hold me to this commitment.

I have this thing with commitment where I can’t commit to something as a personal thing, I need to have someone expecting me to keep to the commitment. Even this, where there is currently no one reading it, is out there enough for me to keep the commitment and make me feel like I have someone who will hold me to what I say. And without it, I definitely wouldn’t hold to these two rules. Earlier today, before I’d finished yesterday’s to-do list, I ate a chocolate chip cookie. Because these rules weren’t “official.”

But now they are. You have read them. And even though the current you is imaginary, it’s still enough of a possible you that I feel the obligation and can stick to it. That’s why I keep on addressing you, my hypothetical reader, cause it allows me to have a conversation. And that’s what I want. I want someone to talk to about my rambling, off-topic thoughts. I have two friends with whom I will sometimes talk about these things but I feel guilty for occupying their time with such a trivial pursuit when I know they really have homework to do and are already sleep deprived. At least with you I know that you are entirely of your own free will and feel no obligation to keep me company.

So, I thank you for reading this. I find that really amazing and I hope I haven’t disappointed you too much.

TTFN,

-Merr

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Israeli Dances: 1