Hello Neverland!

So, this will likely be a short blog because I’m really tired and still ill because I fail at life.

I wish I could live in Neverland. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore college and when I look back at my childhood there are a lot of regrets and misgivings about it. But I still would love to be eternally a child. In my mind that would be so spectacular.

All I’d have to do all day is run around in my fantasy world. I just just laze about and play. Nap-time would still exist and not be filled with guilt. Responsibilities would be at an absolute minimum. It would be just so amazingly carefree.

This deals a lot with my fear of the unknown and of change. Growing up requires huge helpings of both of these and I don’t cope with either of them well. The unknown I try to ignore and change I deny. This leads me living in this perpetual present and only the extremely far and kinda existential future. Like, I have no problem trying to imagine a hypothetical end of the world several thousand or million or even billion (though I doubt we’ll last quite that long) years from now. However, I can’t give any sort of serious thought to five years from now without becoming incredibly worried and stressed.

I also don’t do well with planning ahead in my school work as that is something else that causes me stress. Though it would logically lead to less stress if I thought about it ahead of time and kept it under control, I still can’t emotionally handle that kind of planning cause then I start thinking about every day after that and that starts building leads to my actual future which is the above problem. Actually, it’s mostly that I don’t want to do my work.

I think I’m off topic. I’m really, really tired. I had an absolutely wonderful day filled with good food and amazing friends and one seriously frustrating episode of Doctor Who. WHY MOFFAT???? WHY??!???!

I’ll talk to you tomorrow when I’m hopefully more coherent.

TTFN,

-Merr

Sorority Events: 8

Israeli Dances: 5